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Joke, by webmaster
Job Problems...
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned couldn't
concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave
me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a
so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't
have the thyme.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the
mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net
income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work
was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the
job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I
realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the
same old grind.
Job Problems...
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned couldn't
concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave
me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a
so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't
have the thyme.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the
mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net
income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work
was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the
job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I
realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the
same old grind.
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
Two molecules are walking down the street and one starts looking around. The other asks, "What's wrong?"
"I have lost my electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
"I have lost my electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your
ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would
like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would
like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
Teacher: Dudley, can you tell me what the four seasons are?
Dudley: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Dudley: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
A young man decided to join the police force. As a recruit he was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He answered, "Call for backup."
He answered, "Call for backup."
At a party in London an American was about to tell a joke about the French. A Frenchman in the gathering interjected, "I must warn you, sir, that I am from
France." To which, the American responded, "Thanks for letting me know, dear sir, I will tell the joke really slowly."
France." To which, the American responded, "Thanks for letting me know, dear sir, I will tell the joke really slowly."
A and B are the same color.
Don't believe it? Try opening up the image in Paint or
another image editor and put the 2 tiles side by side.
Don't believe it? Try opening up the image in Paint or
another image editor and put the 2 tiles side by side.
Moving Eggs
It would appear the eggs are moving but they are really not!
It would appear the eggs are moving but they are really not!
READ this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-IC
STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY
ONCE; do not go back and count them again.
Answer below...
ANSWER:
There are six F's in the sentence.
One of average intelligence finds three of them.
If you spotted four, you're above average.
If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody.
If you caught six, you are a genius.
There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The human
brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's".
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-IC
STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY
ONCE; do not go back and count them again.
Answer below...
ANSWER:
There are six F's in the sentence.
One of average intelligence finds three of them.
If you spotted four, you're above average.
If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody.
If you caught six, you are a genius.
There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The human
brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's".
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